PROGRESS
- Emily M Leonard
- Mar 8
- 2 min read
I will admit, my start to this hike was brutal. Mentally I was prepared, but physically, I was so not ready. But I didn’t quit, even as my heart pounded in my chest with each sluggish step forward uphills. I had fooled myself into thinking I would be “fine.”
Well, I am fine but it sure is taking a toll on my motivation and confidence; especially when an 80 year old lady passes me going the opposite direction all sprite and spirited and my head is drooped in exhaustion.
Every day reteaches me lessons I learned in my other two thru-hikes that I easily forgot. Like don’t bite off more than you can chew. Looking up the trail as it disappears into the forest way above my vision thinking, there is no way I can do that! Instead, I remember if I just look to the next tree or the next bend and hike to there I can rest then go to the next stump and so on. And it works. It may take six hours to climb to a summit, but a few yards at a time, I can handle.
So many times in life we get overwhelmed with all the responsibilities we have in front of us. But if we just narrow our vision and concentrate on what is right in front of us everything will come together and the whole picture with eventual spread out for a magnificent view.
I am doing much better now than when I first stepped on the trail. Some days I even feel like I have wings. Most of the time I still struggle uphill which feels like most of every day. But I can also tell I am getting stronger. I have noticed a fear of being alone is greater than I have experienced before though.
One night I ended up at a shelter alone in the woods -just me and the coyotes. I was so petrified. I called my hubby. I texted friends. Eventually I had to tell myself to get out of my own head and enjoy the quiet beauty that surrounded me - of course after the coyotes stopped howling. Once I did that I manged to fall alseep to to gurgling stream twenty feet from the shelter and the pitter-patter of squirrels dancing on the roof. At least that’s what I convinced myself was up there running around.
Life can be so much more enjoyable when we stop the head-games we play with ourselves in the recesses of our minds. Life is beautiful and there is so much to see and learn if we can stop the drumming between our ears.
Happy Hiking,
Emily AKA Black Bear
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