Keep The Fire Roaring
This post is two-fold - one of healing and one of love which both go hand-in-hand.
Bruce needed an ID badge photo - the smarty was preparing for a work presentation in Germany. We chose the right outfit and the right spot. He is so amazing, it only took one shot. Is it any wonder I fell madly in love with him that first moment we met.
I couldn't stop staring at this new photo we had just taken. That evening I decided to make this picture my phone's wallpaper. This was a HUGE step. Since last July, my beloved Ziggy's photo claimed that real estate. Last July my heart shattered into a million pieces when we had to put this incredible dog down.
As soon as I switched the two photos I felt this unbelievable relief and warmth. My heart no longer hurt for Ziggy. Sure, I still miss him, but I just felt different. Heck, several weeks ago I couldn't even watch a movie about a lady who had to give up her dog. I truly sensed my aching heart was healed.
Then at the same time, I felt those gushy new-love tinglings as I gazed upon my hubby's photo. We aren't newlyweds still in the honeymoon stage of marriage either. On July 14, 2024 we will celebrate our 34th anniversary. Let me know if you need our address to send us a card. 😊 I'm not sure how that math works since I am only "26". But one reason that all these years later, I am still madly in love with Bruce, is because we choose to be.
A camp fire burns hot when fuel is added but dies down if left unattended. If you want the fire to keep you warm on those brisk evenings or so you can toast marsh mellows, at some point someone has to make a decision to add more fuel or it will burn out and die. A relationship is no different. All relationships work like this. Not all fuel is good fuel though, so choose wisely.
Camp fires smolder and smoke when wet wood is used. Relationships are hurt and even broken when hate, contentment, neglect, and abuse are fed into it. But just as wood fires burn best with seasoned tender, relationships foster and grow with seasoned fuel also. When it comes to marriage relationships, if you want to keep the fire roaring - love, tenderness, and the choice to commit to each other for better or worse works best.
Bruce and I made a pack early on in our marriage. We NEVER say anything bad about the other one to them, behind their backs, or to another person - even just teasing. I will admit there has been some joking at his expense from time to time, but never do I say anything bad about him to anyone else behind his back. I only tell the world in my books and one funny recent toaster reel I posted to Instagram.
Seriously though, We don't nick-pick or complain about the other. We only praise and edify. And when you do this you can't help but focus on all the good which keeps that spark alive and roaring. You learn to appreciate more and let the petty stuff fall off like water on a duck.
Bruce deserves to be canonized for his commitment. I am definitely the difficult one in this relationship. Some days I wonder why he puts up with all my shenanigans. I am so glad he does, because I would be nothing without him. He truly is the best. Is he prefect? You bet he is!!!
Next time you have an urge to gripe or complain to a coworker or friend about your special someone, remember 3 things, 1 - you chose that someone so what does that say about you if you are complaining. 2 - would you want them to be saying things about you? 3 - switch gears and find two sweet things to say about them instead.
If you have hurts in your relationship work through them. Focusing on the positive will help heal any hurts and the love you once had with continue to grow. Keep finding the good - it's a choice - and then feel the fire burn!
Emily